Someone

When I feel guilty, or depressed, I write. I write poems. I wrote this poem in the middle of the night a few days ago. I wrote it because I believe in it, but sometimes I forget the things in it. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of almost two years, and while I am a primarily independent person, I miss him, and I missed him very much the other night. I miss him the most when I let myself think that no one else could love me again - or love me as much - because I'm not good enough; I don't feel good enough. That is not a healthy way of thinking though, because someone is going to love you, mo matter what you've done. Someone is going to love every weird and wonderful thing about you and you cannot let your guilt make you feel otherwise. So, this is a poem for you, the guilty and broken:

someone is going to love it

they will love it when you cry over nothing

(and everything), all at once,

because they know it’s all too much for you

and they will love to hold you

when it’s all too much, they will

think you’re silly and sad and lovely

someone is going to love it

when you sneeze because you’re allergic

to daisies – such a cliché –

but you sneeze honestly

and you like the way it feels

to be bunched up inside like an accordion

and ring out all messy and unraveled

someone is going to love it

that you have those sad, dark eyes

and just one dimple that only shows

when you smile hard

and when you laugh hard

(that ugly loud laugh)

they will love when it makes them laugh too

someone is going to love it

the way you demand a kiss on the forehead

and a kiss on the cheek; each one

to be even,

and the way you say, “I love you”

too many times

in a day

someone is going to love it

how excited you get when your nails grow long

because you’ve forgotten to bite them

or painted them black, again

how excited you get about dogs

and that you let them lick your clean face

but hate when people touch it

someone is going to love you

the best and worst bits

because the worst bits are you too

- so someone is going to hate it

when you think you aren’t enough

because you are

all of you

enough for someone